I don't really suffer from road rage when I'm driving a car, but I notice that I get the worst case of it almost every time I bike to work. The most recent occurrence of this was last week. I was driving on a two-lane road with no bike lane and keeping a few feet away from parked cars on the side of the road as every biker should to avoid getting "doored." However, some jackass in a silver BMW apparently didn't know that the law gives me as a biker full use of the lane, and decided to honk his horn at me for delaying him for a few seconds. As he passed me, I looked up to memorize what the car looked like and dead serious with no thought said aloud "I am going to find you and fucking kill you."
I then giggled at myself for being so melodramatic, but for those few seconds, I was in a cold rage. Scary stuff. I wonder why this happens to me when I'm on two wheels but not four?
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Why are you standing so still?
I gave in to temptation this morning and let myself peek in the lives of some people from the past. I'm not really sure what I wanted to find. Did I want to see the my ex-boyfriend and "the other woman" in domestic bliss to torture myself or something? Or to try to torture myself, as I don't really think it would bother me all that much these days. To poke myself to see if there was still sensation somewhere? I'm not sure what I really wanted, but it was a slight itch, and I was bored, so I scratched it. Of course I was disappointed. I wasn't looking at the right timeslice for drama of any kind. If you stop following these things you really lose the thread, which is the whole point I suppose. Anyhow, it was boring, a total let down. Everyone still seems to be in the same place.
That always happens when I look in on people from the past--they seem to be in exactly the same space. Maybe this is just an affect from the me-centeredness of my universe, but it seems to me that I just can't stop changing. I am so different now from the person I was a year ago, in many different ways. I had changed from the year before as well, and the year before that. At times I feel as if adversity makes us change more rapidly than we would normally, and I think I've faced a bit of personal adversity in the past few years, thus the amount of rapid change. I think all of these changes are a positive thing, I don't regret any of them. I've learned so much and am happy with the person I am and the place I am in my life--extremely happy.
It makes me wonder though--how can all these people stand still when I am moving so fast?
That always happens when I look in on people from the past--they seem to be in exactly the same space. Maybe this is just an affect from the me-centeredness of my universe, but it seems to me that I just can't stop changing. I am so different now from the person I was a year ago, in many different ways. I had changed from the year before as well, and the year before that. At times I feel as if adversity makes us change more rapidly than we would normally, and I think I've faced a bit of personal adversity in the past few years, thus the amount of rapid change. I think all of these changes are a positive thing, I don't regret any of them. I've learned so much and am happy with the person I am and the place I am in my life--extremely happy.
It makes me wonder though--how can all these people stand still when I am moving so fast?
Monday, June 9, 2008
Today's hot topic is...
I have been a Barack Obama supporter from day zero, but watching the coverage of Hilary's concession on Saturday made me feel a little bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, I've been waiting for this thing to be over since Super Tuesday. I don't know, maybe it's the feminist part of me stirring or something. I do in fact feel that the sexism has been a huge issue in her campaign, and I feel bad about that. The things that certain cable pundits have gotten away with saying are pretty terrible. I think Hilary's candidacy has been a good thing for women overall--I think she did pave the way for someone else to win this in the future, and I think learning that sexism isn't as dead as we thought it was might be a valuable lesson.
Pardon my elementary take on the subject, I've never been a particularly good student of feminist theory, but the way I see it, women are (or have been in the past) disadvantaged in three ways: institutionally, culturally, and biologically. We've gone a long way in getting things equal institutionally--I have access to an equal quality of education and equal job opportunities as my male peers. The fact that a lot of women in Generation Y see this as no big deal is somewhat of an insult to the feminists who paved the way for us, but also can be seen as a sign of progress. There are still issues with pay equality, some glass ceiling stuff to work through, but for the most part, we're good there.
As for biology--well, that's kind of a tough one to change. Given the current medical technology, we can't make my reproductive scenarios as equally varied and un-tethered in time as a guy's. Maybe someday. However, this is one of the gender inequalities that most chafes me in my life.
Cultural sexism is what I think was most encountered by the Clinton campaign, and another thing that really bites me in my life right now. The fact is that culture is afraid of strong women. Part of the reason that the campaign went on so damn long is that Hilary was most appealing as a candidate when she was down. The second she was seen as an underdog, as she was seen as picked-on or ganged up against, the voters seemed to rush to her defense, in the same way that Martha Stewart became a much more popular figure after she was knocked down a peg and put in prison. A woman is only appealing when she's down. In the same vein, why is it that a man can raise his cachet with the opposite sex by becoming more successful, while the more success a woman attains she's less attractive in the dating market?
I was composing this entry earlier today but later had a conversation with my boyfriend about a book he was reading, and we started discussing good books in general. I mentioned a few (Memiors of a Geisha and Girls in Trucks) that I remember enjoying recently and he, half jokingly I think, dismissed them as chick books. Why is a book/movie with a female protagonist almost instantly dismissed in our culture as something for chicks? Why are men the default and women the "other"? It's these kinds of cultural things that I feel are the current battleground for fighting sexism. Culture takes a lot longer to change than it takes to pass a few laws, but is several orders of magnitude faster than biology, so I'm somewhat optimistic.
Pardon my elementary take on the subject, I've never been a particularly good student of feminist theory, but the way I see it, women are (or have been in the past) disadvantaged in three ways: institutionally, culturally, and biologically. We've gone a long way in getting things equal institutionally--I have access to an equal quality of education and equal job opportunities as my male peers. The fact that a lot of women in Generation Y see this as no big deal is somewhat of an insult to the feminists who paved the way for us, but also can be seen as a sign of progress. There are still issues with pay equality, some glass ceiling stuff to work through, but for the most part, we're good there.
As for biology--well, that's kind of a tough one to change. Given the current medical technology, we can't make my reproductive scenarios as equally varied and un-tethered in time as a guy's. Maybe someday. However, this is one of the gender inequalities that most chafes me in my life.
Cultural sexism is what I think was most encountered by the Clinton campaign, and another thing that really bites me in my life right now. The fact is that culture is afraid of strong women. Part of the reason that the campaign went on so damn long is that Hilary was most appealing as a candidate when she was down. The second she was seen as an underdog, as she was seen as picked-on or ganged up against, the voters seemed to rush to her defense, in the same way that Martha Stewart became a much more popular figure after she was knocked down a peg and put in prison. A woman is only appealing when she's down. In the same vein, why is it that a man can raise his cachet with the opposite sex by becoming more successful, while the more success a woman attains she's less attractive in the dating market?
I was composing this entry earlier today but later had a conversation with my boyfriend about a book he was reading, and we started discussing good books in general. I mentioned a few (Memiors of a Geisha and Girls in Trucks) that I remember enjoying recently and he, half jokingly I think, dismissed them as chick books. Why is a book/movie with a female protagonist almost instantly dismissed in our culture as something for chicks? Why are men the default and women the "other"? It's these kinds of cultural things that I feel are the current battleground for fighting sexism. Culture takes a lot longer to change than it takes to pass a few laws, but is several orders of magnitude faster than biology, so I'm somewhat optimistic.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Hawaii
The boy and I are planning a September trip to Hawaii, the island of Kauai to be exact, and I could not be more excited. Unlike most residents of California, I haven't even been once. Boy just left for three weeks in Arkansas for work, which makes me sad, but I'm making the best of it by being all industrious-like.
I've recently re-discovered how awesome libraries are. They're free, and you're not stuck with piles of books you'll never re-read again that you are required to schlepp between apartments. It's fabulous. I found some recent Kauai guides at the local library yesterday, and spent quite a few wine-soaked hours pouring over them and planning out fun things to do on the island. (This was when I wasn't coaching my friend in the finer points of GTA IV and watching him go on cop-killing sprees.)
I wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice by planning things out so far in advance. Will I psyche myself out before the actual trip? I'm going to go with no, I doubt it. I haven't been on a real vacation since Thailand a year and a half ago, so I have the right to be stoked.
I've recently re-discovered how awesome libraries are. They're free, and you're not stuck with piles of books you'll never re-read again that you are required to schlepp between apartments. It's fabulous. I found some recent Kauai guides at the local library yesterday, and spent quite a few wine-soaked hours pouring over them and planning out fun things to do on the island. (This was when I wasn't coaching my friend in the finer points of GTA IV and watching him go on cop-killing sprees.)
I wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice by planning things out so far in advance. Will I psyche myself out before the actual trip? I'm going to go with no, I doubt it. I haven't been on a real vacation since Thailand a year and a half ago, so I have the right to be stoked.
Monday, May 19, 2008
What an awesome weekend!
I can barely walk due to a combination of sadistic trainer, uphill hike, and bay to breakers, but it was quite a bit of fun.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Irony
me: i do lots of things ironically
B: Yeah, me too. I'm trying to cut back though
I'm... not sure why.
me: oh is irony dead?
i was wondering that myself
i'd noticed that i'd cut back recently as well
B: Which... oh my god. Plug your ears so your brain doesn't explode
me: haha
go ahead
B: It's kind of ironic. Because the hipster mentality is that once something becomes popular, it's no longer cool. So by discarding irony because it's popular with hipsters...
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
The irony is collapsing in on itself. I think our tendency to cut back is born of a desire not to implode
But in so doing, feeds into the irony vortex
Oh god. You can't escape irony
Fighting it only makes it stronger!
me: i love you
B: I love you too.
:)
B: Yeah, me too. I'm trying to cut back though
I'm... not sure why.
me: oh is irony dead?
i was wondering that myself
i'd noticed that i'd cut back recently as well
B: Which... oh my god. Plug your ears so your brain doesn't explode
me: haha
go ahead
B: It's kind of ironic. Because the hipster mentality is that once something becomes popular, it's no longer cool. So by discarding irony because it's popular with hipsters...
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
The irony is collapsing in on itself. I think our tendency to cut back is born of a desire not to implode
But in so doing, feeds into the irony vortex
Oh god. You can't escape irony
Fighting it only makes it stronger!
me: i love you
B: I love you too.
:)
Coachella, very late
Here's Coachella from the point of view of the iPhone photographs that I sent to my boyfriend as updates over the weekend. I had an amazing time and this is in no way a comprehensive overview. :) Also, these are in reverse order.
Giant inflatable pig over the crowd during Roger Waters' set. This was an epic set by the way. Everyone in the group was completely amazed and surprised at how amazing it was. I was not. I'd seen him perform in 1999 in Kansas City and was blown away then. Good to know not much has changed in nine years.
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I was standing right beside Elijah Wood for the entirety of Gogol Bordello's set and managed to get a decent photo without attracting attention and looking like a total stalker. He is an incredibly small person! Apparently he's dating one of the drummer/dancer girls for Gogol Bordello which explains his presence there. I'd never heard of the band before this, but the set was really high energy and a lot of fun.
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The Tesla coil.
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The outdoor stage while the National was playing as the sun went down.
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Silver balloons in the dance tent while Adam Freeland was playing.
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Giant inflatable pig over the crowd during Roger Waters' set. This was an epic set by the way. Everyone in the group was completely amazed and surprised at how amazing it was. I was not. I'd seen him perform in 1999 in Kansas City and was blown away then. Good to know not much has changed in nine years.
.jpg)
I was standing right beside Elijah Wood for the entirety of Gogol Bordello's set and managed to get a decent photo without attracting attention and looking like a total stalker. He is an incredibly small person! Apparently he's dating one of the drummer/dancer girls for Gogol Bordello which explains his presence there. I'd never heard of the band before this, but the set was really high energy and a lot of fun.
.jpg)
The Tesla coil.
.jpg)
The outdoor stage while the National was playing as the sun went down.
.jpg)
Silver balloons in the dance tent while Adam Freeland was playing.
.jpg)
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